Are you my Mommy?

Are you the mother who will gasp in shock when she sees my picture for the first time? The one who will know that I am hers even though she has never held me or touched me?

Are you the one who will work around the clock to fill out endless piles of paper so you can adopt me?

The one who will plow through the house finding things to sell and who will sit up late into the night making crafts and baked goods so that I can come home?

The one who will beg for donations from every man, woman and child she meets so that she can raise the money to cover my adoption expenses?

Are you the one who will rush crazily around the house washing windows and vacuuming floors so that when the social worker arrives, the house will pass inspection?

The one who will cry and weep at night thinking about me over here?

The one who will mourn that I am not at her table and that I am not safe in bed at night in her house?

The one who won't be overwhelmed at my medical issues but will trust that God will help her care for me?

The one who can no longer look at other children without thinking about me and who is forever talking about me to everyone who will listen?

The one who wonders how big I am as she wanders through the stores, picking out outfits for my closet and imagining me inside those clothes?

The one who spends much of her time on her knees before the Lord praying over every single piece of paper that is needed for my adoption, that they will pass all the endless inspections required?

The one who is having her faith stretched beyond all human understanding that God will provide everything she needs to bring me home?

The one who carries my picture around in her wallet?

The one who loves me even when I am not at my best?

The one who counts down the months, weeks, days and minutes until she can come get me?

The one who yells like she has gone mad when she receives the Golden Ticket that means my paperwork gets to cross the ocean to my country?

The one who waits with no patience for the date when she can come get me?

The one who cries out for protection for the ones she is leaving behind as she boards a plane to my country?

Please?

Are you my mother?

Are you the Mommy who longs to walk into my world, my room, my life and hold me close to your heart?

Are you my mother? Are you the Mommy I long for every single day of my life?

I so very much want a mother.

I am lost without you.

Please are you my mother?

YES, Kareen I am

and I am coming to get you!

When I started this process, I never knew how hard it would be to wait for you to be mine. I never knew I could miss someone I had never met before, and yet I do. I never knew how much I would worry about you. I never knew how much your sisters would love you and pray for you to be safe.I never knew how many people would come together on your behalf.

I never knew how much we could already love you!

******prayers would be appreciated....we learned last night of a family in this same process as us, losing their child to another couple from another country. I have just been heartbroken for this family. Long story short, the rules have changed and the government in Kareen's country does not "hold" your child for you until your whole dossier is submitted. So we are PRAYING it will go fast now that it is in our governments hands, and then her governments hands. I keep trying to remind myself to have faith,instead of fear********