We are adopting this sweet little girl from an orphanage in Eastern Europe. She is 4 years old TOMORROW! She has down syndrome and her and Bree are one month apart, so we will basically have twins! It has been an very unexpected surprise that we are on this journey, but it has been nothing short of miraculous so far, and I am sure it will only continue to be more so as we go on.
I NEVER would have guessed that we would be starting a journey like this. I started followingthis adorable family on their adoption journey, and then found out that this family had also traveled this road, and then I recently followed this family and I would often joke to my husband and friends and family that "if I keep reading these blogs, I am going to do this." Well I was completely joking but I now know that it was all to prepare me for this! I have wanted another baby for a long time now (we have been trying for almost 3 years) and then after my awful miscarriage last summer I was devastated and just kept wondering "why?" "what does the Lord have in store for our family right now if it is not this?" Well, little did I know that it was Kareen that he had in store for our family. The way every step of this process has unfolded so far is nothing short of a miracle and nothing short of the Lord's hand guiding our path!
I have looked at the little ones on Reece's Rainbow (an International Down syndrome orphan ministry) on and off over the last year or two, but although of course I felt bad that these children were orphans, and theoretically wished I could save them all, I never felt "drawn" to one of them, or even felt like I should pursue this for that matter......until about a month ago.
At Christmas time Reece's Rainbow does an angel tree and tries to raise funds for these angels (since the cost of international adoption is alot). So lots of my friends had links and posts about the kids on Reece's Rainbow. As I got looking at them, I started to feel like maybe I needed to pursue this. So I started looking at what the process really entails and reading more details about others journeys. I started to look at individual kids and tried to feel "drawn" to certain ones. To tell you the truth, because I want another baby, I tried really hard to be "drawn" to a baby and it just didn't happen . As Kris and I were looking over the website one night, he actually saw Kareen and we noticed how close in age she was to Bree...only one month apart. But we kept browsing and that was that. But soon after that I came upon Lily's blog and out of the goodness of her heart, this amazing woman was doing fundraising for two angels on Reece's Rainbow, Olga and Kareen, and as I scrolled down the page Kareen's face came on my screen and I was completely overcome with emotion! I was sobbing and I thought "Oh my goodness, I think she might be mine!" Of course I kindof freaked out because I wasn't looking for this, I wasn't looking to adopt, and so I tried to move on..... but I could not think about one other thing! Kareen completely consumed me and my thoughts...day and night! From then on everytime I saw her picture I cried and even when I really thought about her I cried, and then I started picturing her with my other girls and it fit. But it was still scary, there were (and are) so many unknowns. Well after MANY hours of prayer, fasting, and soul searching. Kris and I knew that we were supposed to do this! Kareen was supposed to be part of our family! We both admitted that we had been dragging our feet a little because we were scared and we knew the easier answer would have been no, but we knew that we could not deny the incredible feelings we had felt about this little girl. The last few weeks as I have been deciding this and pondering, I have felt closer to the Lord's spirit than I can even explain. I KNOW he has led us to this girl and that we are meant to be her forever family!!
I am very grateful for the answers I have received to prayer and I am grateful to be embarking on this journey. I can all ready tell it is going to be amazing!